How not to get your ex girlfriend back!

by: King Ian

Say what?

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How 5 steps can make her miss you and get her back for goodOkay, okay so the title how not to get your ex girlfriend back wouldn’t be something that you’re expecting to see around here. After all, this is a place to get your girlfriend back for good right?

Anyways, try not to give much thought about the nutty title for now. Once you’re done reading this segment you’ll understand the strange reference.

We’re featuring a little something different this time around from the usual how to get my ex girlfriend back material but trust me- this is worth reading.

I stumbled across a cool article by Dr. Margaret Paul PH.D - a relationship expert and best selling author that’s been featured in Oprah and wanted to share her views on what she figures are red flags that you should look out for that could inevitably spell big trouble in your future:

Especially if you’re dating someone now or you’re in the middle- not sure if you still want your ex girlfriend back or maybe you just like keeping your options open and don’t mind dating while you figure things out with your ex.

Before you take a relationship to the next level with a girl you’re dating because you figure she’d make a perfect mother for your babies- you might want to read this first.

Future headaches and what to look out for:

Over the years of her research and experience working with people that want nothing but a long and lasting relationship, she’s discovered what she says are “red flags” that you should look out for that might indicate future serious problems. She stresses that almost too often, when someone has moved forward in a relationship, what might have once seemed like a small “problem” eventually becomes a major headache- leading to the end of the relationship.

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Here’s her list (which is pretty long) but you’ll be glad you took a couple of minutes to mull it over. She cautions that while some of the stuff in her list may not seem like a big deal to you now and you’re okay with it- just remember it’s unlikely that you’ll be able to change her down the road. I could send you a link that takes you straight to her report but since you’re here and I’ve really nothing better to do, I’ll put the list here and make it easy for you.

So let’s hit it! (Drum roll please…)

1. She comes on really strong at the start of the relationship, and lays it out thick, always saying what you want to hear to get you where she wants you to be.

She (the good doctor) explains that this is one of the symptoms of narcissism and people who are narcissists are really intense in their pursuit. She or he might say- I feel this sense of connection with you that I’ve never felt before with anyone in my life. The problem? Narcissists are hot on the heels of another chase once you’re in- or become increasingly demanding once you’re with them.

2. She gets really upset, critical and goes into a withdrawal or goes nuts when you say no, or plain reject her.

This personality trait demands constant attention and if you don’t feed the “beast” well, it could turn ugly if you know what I mean.

3. He or she tries to constantly persuade you to think that your feelings or your position on a matter is always wrong-

While her feelings and position are always correct. It becomes a threat when you disagree on a matter.

4. Here’s the kicker (for me anyways) She goes on and go about herself and pays no attention to you or become uninterested when you speak about yourself.

The only attention that she’ll demand will be for herself and never you. You can see how this would eventually cause a break up or a major headache.

5. A older or more mature girlfriend that has never tied the knot, been in a string of unhappy and broken up relationships, or have been in countless broken marriages.

The person is an older man or woman who has never been married and has been in a series of broken relationships, or has had numerous broken marriages. This may indicate that she or he- may not know how to carry on a loving relationship.

6. That person may have been or was abused as a child and has never received proper therapy.

Dr. Margaret explains that a person abused as a child may see their partners as the people that may have responsible for the abuse. It’s not going to be easy to make a relationship like this works she adds.

7. Ever notice that she may lack compassion or empathy?

You’ll end up feeling miserable when your partner cannot relate to your accomplishments or feel anything for your pain.

8. The girl you’re seeing left her children.

Abandoning a child or a baby can show that one lacks empathy. This doesn’t refer to parents that may have left their child because of unusual circumstances or leaving their child with someone else because they cannot realistically care for that child anymore. In a nutshell- it could mean that the person can only care for one thing and that’s for themselves.

9. She’s never open about learning from a conflict in the relationship.

If she’s never going to be open and earn about themselves and you when you hit a bump in your relationship, you’re never going to resolve that conflict and it’ll happen over and over and over (you get the point) again.

10. Bad habits or addictions that are not acceptable to you.

The list goes on- boozing, smokes gambling, whatever. So just don’t expect them to ever change, unless they willingly do it themselves- the good doctor adds. (so that’s why my ex girlfriend left me. hmmmm…)

11. She’s financially inapt, and always ends up burning a hole in your wallet.

Dr. Margaret adds that many of her clients has had their ex burned by lending money, or by letting their partner who’s not earning their keep live off them. (like vultures..)

12. You kind of feel that she’s dishonest.

I say this is easy- if you only want to see the truth. For example if she goes on and on about owning stuff, driving expensive cars and you find out that it’s just the opposite- look out.

13. She doesn’t have any close friends nor a bond with her family members.

There’s a reason why someone doesn’t have friends and it’s not always because they have a contagious disease.

14. She’s always judging someone or is always demeaning someone else.

If she has a issue with being overly judgmental and does not want to change, this will lead to huge problems later.

15. She’s extremely possessive and gets jealous all the time.

If the girl you’re dating is more concerned about controlling you then letting you do your thing, it’s the only thing that she cares about in this relationship.

16. A totally different take on values, opinions, religion or spirituality or even food preferences and health issues which can create dangerous conflicts.

I’ll leave it to you to decide on this one. I’m kind of in the middle of this one except for the health part I guess.

17. She does not have any interests nor hobbies.

The relationship expert and author says that for most part, the person will become overly dependent on you and this spells trouble with a capital T. Can you say “get a life willya?”

18. Always laying the blame on someone else for her feelings or circumstances.

Always a victim and will eventually blame you for how she feels etc… you get the picture. And it’s not a pretty picture naturally.

Well, that about sums it up- the big question is what do you think about all of this? Make sense?

Does this bring back a sense of deja vu about your relationship with your ex girlfriend?

If your ex has a few or more of the “signs” above- is she really worth your time getting back with?

Tough questions but you’ll have to answer them yourself. Leave a comment and let us know how we’re doing.

Till next, take care.

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